If you and your spouse are on that slippery slope leading to divorce, you might be asking yourself, can my marriage be saved? Then again, if this isn’t something you, or your partner, want to do, then the marriage is NOT worth rescuing.
And, while a lot of people should be asking themselves if their marriage can be saved, surprisingly, too many don’t even bother!
Can My Marriage Be Saved? – The Bad News
And this trend is highlighted by statistics showing that divorce rates in many Westernized countries are on the rise.
Regrettably, divorce lawyers are the only winners, with so many couples heading to the courts!
Q. What’s one of the biggest culprits causing such a high incidence of marital breakup? – Ans. Far too many couples pull the pin on their marriages way too early. They don’t give their relationship the opportunity to survive.
Before reading the rest of the article, ask yourself: do you WANT to save your broken marriage? Do you WANT to prevent a divorce? Think about these questions long and hard. Think about your history with your spouse. Think about your children(if you have children, that is).
There are times when a marriage is so bad that getting out of the relationship is the best move for both parties concerned. For example, if infidelity has ruined the trust in the marital arrangement, it makes it doubly hard for effective reconciliation to occur.
Forgiveness might be a noble attribute, but there is always the lingering and soul-destroying doubt of cheating happening again. (What’s that saying about a leopard and its spots?)
Can Saving My Marriage Be A Mistake?
On a serious note, though, there are particular circumstances when even considering the possibility of repairing a marriage is totally out of the question.
If your spouse is physically or mentally abusive, then you need to get out. You absolutely cannot put your safety in jeopardy. And, if there are children involved, this issue becomes even more important.
Here are a few signs of an unhealthy relationship.
It’s unfortunate, but most people who resort to abuse as a way of controlling a relationship never change their ways. Don’t even think about attempting to fix the situation, as you will be placing yourself at greater risk.
Can My Marriage Be Saved? – The Good News
The verdict is a qualified Y-E-S. Most marriages that are in trouble can be saved…provided you’re willing to do the work required!
However, you need to first ask yourself if you really want to rescue the marriage. The truth is, you may, in fact, convince yourself that you don’t want to save your marriage. But, all too often, these feelings are purely a defensive mechanism used to protect yourself from further pain and anguish due to marriage problems.
Stop The Divorce and Save Your Marriage
If you still love your partner and see a future with them in it, then there’s every chance you can fix your marriage.
Don’t be fooled, though. Repairing a marriage isn’t easy work. But, fortunately, there are strategies and systems available that will show you the way. You need to remember that the answer to the question – “Can my marriage be saved?” – is always YES.
And, when you start believing that saving your marriage is indeed possible, you’re over halfway there! All you now need to do is put in the work for saving it!
Here are a few things that may help you get your marriage back on track:
1. Identify the problem.
It’s no secret that divorce rates are high, and the number of married couples who are choosing to stay together is at an all-time low. The good news is that if you’re willing to work on your relationship, you can turn things around.
The first step is to Identify what needs to be fixed in your marriage.
2. Find something in your relationship that you can build on to help repair your marriage.
Once you have identified the issues that are causing you to drift apart as a couple, you can start solving them. Start looking for what you have in common.
It can be the catalyst or ingredient needed to rekindle a happy marriage.
You need to find the part that wants to save the relationship. It doesn’t take much, and it doesn’t matter how small it is. All it takes is your willingness to put in the hard yards and take the time to make it better.
3. Open the lines of communication.
One of the most important things that you need to do to stop a divorce is to open the lines of communication in your marriage once again. And that means listening as well as talking!
4. Get rid of the feeling of anger.
You’re going to have to put aside your anger. It doesn’t matter if you or your spouse caused the marital problems. And, you need to put whatever caused the rift to bed!
Whether it was cheating, financial problems, or that you both just started drifting apart, you need to find a way of coming to terms with what’s happened and work together to solve these issues. Look to the future, and let the past take care of itself!
If you’re still stewing in your own anger, then you’re not going to be able to move past the problem and communicate properly.
5. Consider Marriage Counseling.
Let me make one thing clear: There is NO shame in going to couples therapy! You are trying to save your marriage. And if it means going to couples therapy, and talking with a marriage counselor, so that you and your spouse can get a second chance at a happy marriage, then so be it!
I, myself, know a few couples who saved their marriage, and they all say that talking to a marriage therapist helped. Counseling can help you and your spouse move past your issues and strengthen your emotional connection.
6. Stop Saying and Start Acting!
Cliché: Actions speak louder than words. It is true, though. Marriage is hard work, period. Just saying that you will change or that you will work hard will not work. People respond to action, and if you just “say” and don’t “do,” you will not be able to repair your failing marriage!
Solving your marital problems requires action. You need to put in the work!
Do not beg or seek validation. Start working on fixing your marital problems. Become actively involved in the marriage.
Your spouse’s feelings are bound to change when they see you putting in the effort.
If you and your spouse still love each other and are willing to put in the work, then your marriage can be saved. It’s a no-brainer! I agree that it won’t be easy. In fact, it will require a LOT of hard work.
But, As Ted Mosby once said:
“You Will Be Shocked, Kids, When You Discover How Easy It Is In Life To Part Ways With People Forever. That’s Why, When You Find Someone You Want To Keep Around, You Do Something About It.”