I think it’s obvious to most people that there are many ways of dealing with the breakup of a romantic relationship. Some go into a deep depression when their ex dumps them. At the same time, others feel an overwhelming sense of relief once they’ve ended a relationship that was unhealthy, possibly abusive.
Was your relationship abusive? Find out here.
However, most people involved in breakups fall somewhere between these two extremes. They find that they are sad and upset following the trauma of the split from their lover but, given a little time and space, they’re able to get on with their lives. They accept their past relationship for what it was and seek out new and better friendships.
If you’ve just broken up with your partner, you might be wondering where you fit into the scheme of things. How are you coping with the demise of your romance? Well, to give you a little “head’s up”, here are another five great ways of dealing with a breakup to build on suggestions in previous posts about managing the end of a relationship.
5 Ways Of Coping When A Relationship Comes To An End.
1. Get back onto the dating scene quickly.
Let all of your friends know that you and your ex are not together anymore and that you’re back on the market! Go dating with different people and try out all sorts of new activities.
Now, don’t expect to fall in love overnight when dealing with the breakup this way, but, in the process, you could have a lot of fun! Just be sure that you’re not covering up your pain about the breakup with a false kind of happiness. Don’t fake it!
2. Catch up with friends and family.
You probably spent a lot less time with your friends and family if you were in a serious relationship. You feel that if you attempt to get back into your old relationships, you’ll get through the recovery phase of breaking up much easier. But, be warned, you may need to work hard to mend some of these broken ties!
While your family will most likely be supportive of your situation, expect that some of them may have come to treat your ex as part of the family and be unhappy that your relationship has ended. Others may be disappointed that you’ve ignored them and might make you “pay” for your lack of consideration. But family is family. Given time, they’ll come around.
Your friends, on the other hand, might be somewhat upset and angry that you haven’t spent much time with them. And, now that you want back into the “circle”, you might experience some initial resistance which is only natural. But, if you’re honest with them and demonstrate that you can be trusted with their friendship once again, it shouldn’t take too long before you’re ‘back in the fold’.
To get the results you want, you must be prepared to put a great deal of effort and love back into relationship building with your family and friends.
3. Get back into doing the things you loved.
Sometimes when you are in a serious relationship with someone, the hobbies, sports or things in general that you enjoyed doing take a backseat for some reason. Your break up now allows you to get back into these activities again.
Who knows, you might even find someone new who shares your love of bonsai, pastry cooking or whatever turns you on! Just getting involved in your old activities can give you that wonderful feeling that your world is back on track. Go for it!
4. Is it time to start something new?
In contrast to the previous suggestion, dealing with a breakup can be ideal for starting a new activity or pursuit. For example, suppose you’ve always wanted to try rock climbing, scuba diving or develop an interest in painting or take up pottery classes. In that case, there’s no better time than now.
By exploring new activities, you push yourself beyond your boundaries. This can be a great opportunity for building your self-esteem and confidence, which sometimes take a battering during the relationship turmoil of a breakup.
5. Have you given yourself time and permission to grieve?
As odd as it may sound, many people who go through a relationship break up don’t give themselves time or permission to mourn the loss. Men, in particular, are guilty of this to a greater extent. They mistakenly believe that an outward display of grief is somehow a sign of weakness. You know, it’s not manly or ‘macho’ to cry!
But, when dealing with a breakup, you need to give yourself a chance to get over it. It doesn’t matter who actually called the relationship off; a split up can be painful! You need time for the wounds to heal. Allowing yourself to cry, scream or just mope around can be very beneficial for your emotional well-being. Just be sure that you don’t stay in this dark, angry, miserable place for too long.
However you do it, dealing with breakups can be challenging for anyone, but you can survive and move on with your life. There will always be good and bad things to remember about your ex and the failed romance. But, what’s important is for you to try and keep some perspective about what you once had and acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of the relationship that has ended. Above all, learn from it and accept the breakup as a part of life.