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Thursday, February 2, 2012 | 8:33am
[RANT] In Memory of Don Cornelius, Its Time We Erase the Suicide Stigma
Who are we to pass judgement on the fate of others?!
#suicide
Yesterday, we lost one of the legendary figures in black entertainment, Don Cornelius. And while he was most certainly no longer a young man, he left the earth what most would call prematurely, perhaps even selfishly on his own terms. He took his own life. In the black community and even society as a whole there has been a long-standing stigma against suicide. To generalize, we’ve always seen it an act of defiance that selfishly leaves loved ones without.
Growing up in a very Christian household I was always told that God will forgive you for everything except suicide because you won’t have a chance for repentance. As a youngster the thought made me horrified of those I heard succumb to the fate, imagining their souls burning in hell for all eternity. That all changed when my best friend in life, my Godbrother Mikey died in 2004. While he was a great friend, he terrorized me as any older brother should do to a younger sibling. However in late adolecence, following an incidence where he was the victim of a violent assault, Mikey started hearing voices constantly. He would quickly be diagnosed with Skitzophrenia and his mental state quickly deteriorated. While he was always a little strange, admittedly, his new reality was one Roger Rabitt movie, real characters mixed with fantasy. The only difference was he couldn’t tell the difference.
He suffered with this illness for over a decade until he finally could not take it. We will never know if he had had enough or if he was coaxed by one of those evil voices to take his own life but what I realized at that time was this was not an act of selfishness. It was nothing to be ashamed of but rather a lesson, a cry that maybe it isn’t mental disease that we should be ashamed of but our inability to coap with those who have it. I have since also lost another very close family member to suicide both of the grusome details I will spare you. But in these and the many other suicides, there is a story. One to be understood, one to be appreciated and learned from.
The victims of suicide clearly expand beyond the deceased but I think its time we all take a look in the mirror. I think we’ll realize that although we may not be responsible for the act, we are in some ways responsible for the gross ugly stigma we have perpetuated it as being. The almighty takes us home for many reasons and in many ways. Its time we come to grips with that. Mikey, Gigi and Mr. Cornelius, may your rest in Peace and Souuuuuuuuul.
FILED IN Editorials, News
I have long believed that if you are facing a terminal illness, when all you can look forward to is more pain before an unavoidable death, that there’s nothing wrong with killing yourself.
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When a young soldier jumps on a hand grenade and saves others around him, he’s looked on as a hero. I don’t think people have a right to tell someone else that they need to bear the pain simply to satisfy the moral guidelines of someone else.
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From a Christian standpoint, the bible teaches that there is only one sin that won’t be forgiven, and it’s not suicide. (Matthew 12:31)
“And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.”
Excellent, thoughtful point, Juan.
The more I learned about God, the more I realized how wrong religion is (Judeo-Christian, monotheistic religions that I have studied) and how many religious “scholars” just don’t get it. My point: NOBODY knows what happens after a person dies. End of argument. We all can choose to believe what we want to, whatever helps us feel better or cope with a loved one’s death. But all this shouting about repentance of our wicked ways before we burn up in hell for all eternity, or because we dare believe in a different God than the one they believe in, is ridiculous! … A coupe of questions that popped up in my head years ago: Christianity is only 2,000 years old. So, ALL the people who lived before that (countless Billions) and all the people who have lived since, who didn’t subscribe to this religion and LIVED by its tenets, are doomed to hell?! What kind of evil-ass is that you say is soooo loving?! and the other thing, if you say that the deceased is in a better place, no more suffering and so on, sitting with God, in heaven, shouldn’t we all be HAPPY for him then?! just saying! we catching hell right here on earth and if I can be in heaven for eternity and escape this madness, I’m out! and the rest of ya’ll should throw me a homegoing PARTY! then, why is everyone crying and falling out, making a scene?! … Because as much as we like to talk ish about having faith, we just don’t know! …. so, your point is well taken.
I’m going to need to talk with my pastor to respond to ^his point^ lol.
@ EL:
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One of my several problems with organized religion is that they all say that their beliefs are the only true beliefs.
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So, according to the Jew, the Christian, or the Muslim, it’s our way or else. I’m of the personal opinion that what goes on between an individual and God is personal to that individual and God.
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@ Juan:
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If you’re going to put your pastor on the spot, why not make it good…
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If you believe that God is all knowing and all powerful, then you also have to believe that the world is EXACTLY how God wants it. The big 3 religions are all based on the assumption that mankind is some sort of mistake by God; that there was a flaw in our creation that God was unable to see or unable to do anything about.
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Consider this: Imagine you have a dog. You decide to go on vacation, so you pour a big pile of food in the bowl, and then leave the house for a week. When you come home, are you going to beat the dog for sh*tting in the house? You might punish the dog for going in the bedroom instead of the kitchen, but you cannot punish the dog for doing its business because the dog had no control over the fact that it had to go sometime in that week, it was out of the dogs control.
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So… if we start (as the big 3 religions do) with the assumption that man is a sinning being; that sin is something that mankind is incapable of avoiding, then how can you justify an eternal punishment for something they have no control over?
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If you start with the assumption that God is fair; that he’s not an a**hole who plays ‘gotcha’ with mankind, it’s a lot easier to see through the BS of organized religion.
Great points, Malcolm!
Sheesh. He always tells us to buy these Christian apologist books from the bookstore every Sunday so that we’d be more equipped to defend the faith. I guess I didn’t get them yet. Why you attacking me?! hahah.
You gotta be ready to defend what you say you believe in, Bruh! lol … not attacking, tho, just axing out loud….
My man. You already know I can debate for days. I just had someone in my office and didn’t want to give you the half ass response.
No but to answer your questions Malcolm. The answer to your first point is simple and can be described in the laws of nature. BALANCE. You see it in everything the Ying and the Yang. There’s a balance in Good and Evil. To answer your second question Malcolm, I, a Christian believe that Jesus died for my sins. I believe in HE as King. Most people say King of what? King of my sins. His death allowed me to live. I am not Saved from that eventual fate because I am a good person but only because I believe that he did this. It is through faith that I am saved. Being a good person and trying to live free of sin is only in my effort to love him more and not make him displeased with me but it does not determine my fate.
It is said that obedience is the highest form of sacrifice…the thing with that Christian belief is that if God created me in His image and after His likeness, He also gave me the power of reason and self-determination, as well as giving me a conscience. That tells me that I determine my fate. And, really, believing in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour does not absolve Christians of their responsibility to manifest God on earth…because God is part of us. He gave us of himself when we took a physical form. With that comes a great responsibility of living according to our divine nature and not only putting it on Jesus and washing our hands of our Godliness and responsibilities (not saying you are doing this, your explanation is actually a great one, but so many people who claim a religion choose to be of that religion on worship day or during debates, trying to show out to others, only).
True say. I think (and we are so off the topic but who cares this is good stuff) God does put a great responsibility on us but Christianity is very simple. Its the segregationist like the Protestants, Catholics, etc. who couldn’t except it for its simplicity. Instead they decided to muck it up with ritual. At the end of the day it boils down to faith…a very difficult ideal I might point out…faith in HIM as your Lord and savior and his word (we can debate what exactly that is) and helping others to do the same. THATS IT! He gave us his son in a physical so that we might better be able to relate to a divine example. He died not so that we could absolve ourselves of responsibility but that we might take it more seriously. We don’t have to sacrifice no goats or do penance for our sins. All that 10 hail Mary’s and confession is mombojombo. I’m a non-denominational Christian by some design makes me a follower of early Judaism as well. Not sure if I addressed your point.
We will never know what causes those who commit suicide to do so. I think that everyone that does so has their own reasons. I will jus’ wish them all some R.I.P. PEACE!!!