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Saturday, December 3, 2011 | 7:33pm

Future News: Santa Claus Named In Divorce Case

Posted by Malcolm

Santa Better Watch his North Pole

I’m afraid for Santa Claus.

Forget the fact that the man has been breaking into homes all over the world. He’s been at it for over 100 years, and he hasn’t been caught yet.

I’m worried because Santa is now on the wish list of Courtney Stodden, the 17-year old Child bride who has become famous for, well, being a child bride.

Now mind you… I’m not against the idea of old Saint Nick getting some. The man works hard, and we all know that Santa doesn’t live on cookies alone.

Instead, I’m worried that Santa will get trapped by this vixens’ charms. She’s obviously on the make for 1/2 his toys. You watch.

Here are some of her recent tweets to Santa.

Dear Santa: Since you work so HARD to satisfy, I will be leaving you a lil’ more than just creamy cookies for your sweet tooth this year…”

“Dear Mr Santa: When you silently sneak down my chimney this year & into my home… I guarantee you will be leaving saying HO-HO-HO! XOs”

“Mr Santa Claus? If I let you seductively slide down my stocking & taste every piece of my candy… will I still be on your naughty list”