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Tuesday, June 8, 2010 | 10:48pm
Slim Thug: I’m Rocking With the White Women Until the Sistas ‘Bow Down’
Let the Racial Determination Committee Convene
@vibemagazine @slimthugga
That sound you hear in the background is the sensitive Black Blogosphere mobilizing in protest of Slim Thug’s recent blog on Vibe.com. The rapper who hails from Houston went real stream of conscious rant with it in his criticism of black women and the promotion of brothers dating white women. Here’s an excerpt.
“A lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her⎯ he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain’t fucking with him…”
“Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can’t just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us…”
Adding further fuel to the fire, Slim Thug went on to throw support for the white women as an alternative citing his bi-racial girlfriend’s ability to follow his primitive guidelines as an example. Thankful for her “half White in her” he notes that she “still cooks and do all the shit that I say.”
“White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that shit. Black women need to stand by their man more… “
Not to place ALL the blame on those refusal of black women to assimilate to primal relationship etiquite, Mr. Thug says the black man needs to do their part as well.
“Black men are the ones that motherfuckers need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too. A Black man who gets a little bread will go make it rain in the club and be broke the next day or instead of him going to invest in a business he gonna go buy new jewelry or a new car and still live in the hood. Black peoples’ mentality is real fucked up in general [and] it’s affecting everything.”
While his critics will no doubt respectful suggest “Hooked On Phonics” reading material for Mr. Thug, we’ll instead try and understand what he is really trying to say here. I’d like some help from the Racial Determination Committee on this one.
I personally think he’s presenting some valid concerns. Over the past few months I’ve watched in amazement as the highly African-American male concentrated Highbrid Nation has gone nuts for the new “Milk Monday” feature launched by Fat Back Chef. I’ve witnessed a community dedicated to the celebration of the full-figured sistas become equally as supportive of the ladies fitting the same physical description of the Caucasian persuasion. This is not a coincidence.
The fact is there exist a psychological divide between the brothers and sistas when it comes to reaching a baseline for dating. Slim Thug not-so-eloquently took a stab at some of those reasons and instead stabbed himself. However I think the fundamental difference that has lead to this gender conflict and subsequent departure to the white women on behalf of the brothers lies in expectations.
Our society promotes an atmosphere of dating by trail and error. For black men, as illustrated in the scientific study I recently highlighted, with each passing relationship, the ability to share intimately with a partner becomes more difficult as the chemical bonding mechanism within us becomes worn and less effective like re-used adhesive. On the flip side, the sistas have habitually created laundry lists of deal breaking qualifiers that their ideal man must meet based on the absent qualities of past mates. These conflicting phenomena are nature’s way of telling us something about ourselves but we’re not catching on.
So while the black blogoshpere and feminist will likely unite in a military style offensive against the Slim Thug comments they’ll miss an opportunity to spark healthy debate that I hope Highbrid Nation, lead by the RDC will take full advantage of. They’ll miss the point that he in fact raises valid concerns plaguing black love and relationships and like so many other problems in our community instead of dealing with them , we fight against them.
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Thug was dumb about the way he presented himself. I’m with you Juan, this is a much larger issue.
I think slim thug is ignorant… i also disagree completely with his comments… I see a lot of single black moms working two jobs, not asking for a dime….. i see it as this: lazy, ignorant, non-shit having brothers get lazy, ignorant, non-shit having sisters…. you get what you are… What we seem to forget is that there is or was a woman who helped a successful black man get to where he is at 8/10.
Great point but I think we’re examining that other 20% its significant no?
Well while Slim Thug has a right to his opinion. I am one of those hard-working black women who hold down 2 jobs and go to school full time, and don’t like to ask of anything from anyone. While he states he wants to go to a white woman that’s fine, but I’m sure they wouldn’t want him after reading his “comments”. There are issues going on btwn Black Men/Women but it all boils down to this if they are bringing to the table what your bringing to the table, give it try and if doesn’t work..move on. But don’t use what the women/men you deal with against a certain group to just make an excuse to be with a certain type of woman/man cuz in the end he/she just might do you more dirty than the ones you were with.
Great point. Plain an simple. I think black people do bring too much baggage not only into but OUT OF their relationships.
Although, Slim Thug said it quite ignorantly, he has a point. Many African American women expect the world to be given to them without any type of mental or financial investment. Successful black men (Truly successful not street successful) are rare (i.e.: Highbrid LLP). Out of a random 10 black men, how many of them hold “skilled positions”? Now, white women do treat black men like kings…some times. This is either due to the taboo nature of black/white relationships or because they women generally treat all of the men they are with as kings. Both black men and women need to step up their life game. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ended a conversation after telling black people my occupation. It’s a little silly to think that some people are intimidated by intelligence or success.
Not every black man who is successful waits for a black woman to step up their life game. It happens. Let’s use WVU as a cross-sectional case study. There were numerous black men I knew and hung out with who were mentally successful and they turned out to do big things (engineering, doctors, lawyers, athletes, etc), but after leaving the population, I noticed that this was a small percentage. The small percentage didn’t limit themselves to just black women, whom I will add, spent their time chasing “Mr. Right Now”. Now that is a preference. But after Mr. Right Now fizzles out, the women stumbled on back to the rest and expected acceptance. Those who accepted them did so because they cared to. But there are many who did not. No one wants sloppy seconds or just sloppiness for that matter.
I don’t expect a woman to bow down to me and hold their head below mines but there must be some type of respect. As a man, you must understand that women will look for what is in their best interests. As a woman, you must understand that men aren’t color-coded. They don’t care. Biology and physical attraction is based off of other things besides color. A woman who can bring something to the table outside of a vacuum mouth is always a thumbs up.
In short, it isn’t truly about White vs Black women…it is about ignorance vs progress.
I’ve dipped my stick into both pools and I have found incompetence in both. So in my book, they are equally foolish.
Don’t sully the Milk Mondays…the reason why black men like Milk Mondays is because of the taboo aspect. Mami Miercoles is good because Spanish women are still seen as exotic. To prove this, make a day for Asian women. I bet the black men will like it just as much as any other day. Women are women. Fatties are Fatties. Correlating the color of a women with the interest of the man on a website is short sided (from a scientific perspective) and has too many outliers to make this deduction or hypothesis sound.
Great points Left-Eye. I think you hit the nail on the head.
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“Men aren’t color-coded. They don’t care. Biology and physical attraction is based off of other things besides color. A woman who can bring something to the table outside of a vacuum mouth is always a thumbs up.”
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I think that statement is key. I think women, not just black women are intimidated by that. They want their man to be limited in his appreciation of other women to reduce the pool of possible mistresses. I believe this to be true. But with men being less concerned about the aesthetics and more concerned with the physical attributes its threatening to increasingly insecure women.
He sounds like some bitter hood-rat that was burned by a few black women that took his money and self esteem. Now he is going on an ignorant rant trying to retaliate on those same black women. Thug go to counseling and deal with your internal/mental issues.
Now when it comes to dating outside your race…If Thug wants to date white women then date white women. That is your own preference. However how uneducated of him to classify an entire race/gender as less than another. I bet he turned to his mother, aunts, sisters, female cousins and nieces and told them they were nothing compared to white women. Then those relatives beat the $hit out of his stupid black a$$.
Now for this black woman…as a Caribbean Honey, I have no issue cooking, cleaning, working and making my “man” feel at peace. Why am I able to do all of this… b/c I love myself – A LOT!!! In loving myself I can love the one I am with too. Self love helps you to forgive, respect and move on.
I think you’re point about his parents is quality. I wonder scientifically if there’s a correlation with the increase black males raised by single mothers to their propensity to date outside their race. That would be an interesting experiment.
All mothers are flawed and try to raise us based on what they know. If they know nothing building within their home (love of self, then doesn’t that lead to you lacking love.
That is someting interesting…wonder if black men raised by over-bearing, destructive, abusive black mothers has caused them to hate black women.
Also, there are hard working black women. Both hard working black men and hard working black women are picky with whom they choose to be their mate…can you blame them? I can’t
I have been married to a Hispanic woman and I am married to a Black woman now (my second marriage to a black woman). I find that Black women tend to demand more from their man, without giving equally. I am not particularly attracted to white women, so other than a few one night stands when I was in college, I have never had a relationship with one. Hispanic women tend to be more submissive and giving to their men (if they have been raised in an “old fashioned” way). I think many people (of all races) don’t value marriage and relationships properly. This could be a societal issue, because Hispanic women who are “Americanized” show some of the same tendencies.
that’s tough. things should be equal in a mature relationship. it is right to demand more of someone b/c you want more for yourself, too. Aren’t all people of success not happy with the average and try to get more out of everything. why be happy with one scoop of ice cream when you can get two.
The key point was “without giving equally.” My wife has high expectations of me because of the standard I’ve already set. However, I always treated her like the Queen she is, but never received inkind treatment. And it was never enough. Now we’re separated, and if she wants to get back together, I need to know I’m valued and appreciated, just like I always treated her. Otherwise, what is the point?
You might be on to something being an American Woman of color inferiority complex perhaps?
we as black men can care less what color a woman is. we just wanted to be treated like every other race of man in this world. look around do any other race of man go thru what we go thru in relationships? no! we’re so tired of being treated like ish…. everything is the black mans fault. we dont get support from anywhere or anybody or any race. you cant tell me all of us r thieves, murderes, gangstas, drug dealers, fornicators, etc…. its just so happens when someone who see’s the god in us is usually from another race or society. black folk dont know thier roles. white women know the power of motivation, they know if they just treat that man like a man they’re gonna get what they want and more.
Man you need to stop dealing with those types of women and find you are better class. those types of women come in all colors, not just black, brown or white.
honey love you make very good points. the thing is when you go thru so much tryin to find that happiness in a relationship you almost r willing to explore all options. im almost 36 im not gonna wait around. the next black woman may not come. one thing i will say is all of this isnt an accident or coincidence it was planned this way. 700 years of brainwashing and false teachings will dirupt any community.what you said about brovas bein raised by certain women hit rite on point. it starts at home everything does, we gotta find a way to break the cycle ma.
Dewayne, I understand where you’re coming from. However, I personally, have motivated the men in my life, cared about them, held them down when they were @ their lowest..to the point I felt like the man in the relationship. On the other hand, I felt like an enabler, b/c they didn’t want better for themselves. I wasn’t appreciated til I left. So that’s why I want more..should I be like all black men are lazy & aren’t worth two pennies rubbed together cuz of the ones I dealt with…No. I know there are good Black Men out there..they just haven’t approached me yet
Then again should I just limit myself to the Black Man or try other options(honestly I’m curious)
explore all options, but if you only want a black man then you either have to be patient or slightly lower your standards. i said slightly. its hard out here i will admit that alot of brovas aint no good, dont have hope, or just dont see any light at the end of the tunnel.they living for today and themselves. there is no good advice when it comes to love it just has to happen but you have to open your mind because you never know what form or color its coming in. its two sides to every story with the truth somewhere in the middle, you may think you were doing everything right. but his side mite be a little different.
Nah Honey Love I think dewayne is really on to something here. Perhaps its a subconscious feeling on the part of black men to plug into the white man’s matrix.
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Perhaps by dealing with a white woman the hope is they will in part play the part of and be respected in the same way that their socially superior white counterparts are.
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Great insight dewayne
preciate it juan! the brovas just wanna be happy. the sistas to, but it just seems like there are conditions to their love. i love you if…… such and such.
I say that the fault goes on the parents that taught their children…especially their girl sthat they need a man to do this that and the other. YET taught their boys to be independent and to not love these hoes. and the other fault goes on society that put video girls and chicks on supperhead on a damn pedestal so it makes our girls think that if they have a cute weave, a fat ass, and a decent smile they can get a man to do it all for them. Although he makes SOME good points…overall its starts at home. Women scream that they want the love that they grandparents have YET are NOT willing to put in the work their grandparents did!
Amen!
great point chelle! we watch tooo much dam b.e.t. or tooo much t.v. period. thats not reality. only one person can be with beyonce chances r not in alot of peoples favor.the reality is find someone just as f….ked up as you are and settle down. leave the percepction alone and deal wit reality.
We can always count on Chelle bring value to teh discussion. You’re on the money about what we value. I think however society places a certain value on white beauty. Its made us people of color feel inadequate and create anxiety for us to keep up. I think you’re right tho. Even with less, under harsher conditions our grandparents were able to keep it together. I think they also weren’t sleeping around as much as we do either tho. Something to think about.
the thing about the grandparents is this; this is the difference back then people forgave and not divorce. you had the same problems then because we are all human. if your grandmother had 5 kids, and the middle child is from another man, today it will be a murder or divorece in the least. back then they stayed together but just slept in different rooms or beds. the grandkids never knew what was goin on. now that grandparents are 35-42 its just not like that anymore
The STRONG Black woman is played out. We need supportive Black women. I already have a Strong Black woman in my life and that is my mom, I don’t need another mother. Now with that said any Race of woman can try to act like your mother but it just seems like more Black Women are like that then any other Race of women that I’ve encountered. I am naturally more attracted to non-White females but I’ll date whatever.
Skinny that’s another great point. I think that whole “Baby Boy” phenomenon as I like to call it exist way too much in society. We want to be taken care of by our women instead of work with them.
Some people just need to stick to rappin.
Juan and eye spoke about this and decided that Slim Thug spoke w/his “inside voice” which has gooten us al in trouble a time or 2. I have to agree w/both side somewhat, I’ve been in a relationship w/a beatiful black queen for almost 8yrs and she’s held me down form day 0 cooks, cleans, and caters to the needs of me and my son so she’s definitely not in the category of black woman that Thug was speaking of. But from watching my friends relationships I will say when it comes to Black Women my lady is more of the exception than the rule, but honestly it’s all about what circle you’re in. If You’re in the streets u going to attract hood rats and everything that comes along with that. If you’re in the boardroom you’re going to attract corporate women and everything that comes w/that so forth and so on. You’re in the clubs same thing.
But none of us spend time in the G Ward so why are there so many loony women out there lol.
4pl i must say you are correct. A wise man (my daddy) once told me “your head is your antennae. what are you picking up”. you want a good mate than go to where they will be. there is a reason why hoodrats don’t do to the museum, art shows, and even college…they are happy with the hood. find a better class if you want better.
side note: i must say this topic is a buzz on my sites however this has been the most enlightening opinions i have read and been a part of. bravo highbrid.
ive tried that! the museum ,arts, church going girls are just as crazy, so what do you do then? sometimes that corporate woman came out of somebody’s hood and eventually it comes out.
you just never know thats why i say keep your mind open
Let me start by saying im in engaged to a black woman. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I never went anywhere looking for someone. Every person I’ve ever been with is through some common bond or shared experience. I feel that is the best place to start. Look around you before you venture out to the meat markets. This makes self-improvement and maturing even more poignant. To put it bluntly, if you ain’t shit, don’t expect for your mate to be anything else. And if you do get lucky and find that person that is willing to work with you, make sure you work and improve. Hoodlums get hoodrats. Like attracts like. Make sure you have real with yourself and you’ll be fine.
I don’t think anyone that refers to himself as ‘Slim Thug’ has any validity in soceity. The fact is far more black women are college educated than black men and we just want someone who is going to step up to the plate and can be on par with us.
I have on many occasions heard black men say they like white women because white women are easy and not a challenge. White women are quick to spread their legs, will do whatever they say, and will hand over their entire paycheck to a black man. I know many white girls that will do just that and will sleep with anything that’s black. They don’t even care about the individual as long as he’s black.
A real man would not have a problem having a woman who’s intelligent and strong and who can go toe to toe with him.
Yeah, thats true to a certain degree. I man also doesn’t want to come home to a house thats not peaceful and a whole lot of attitude.
thass the prollem yall always TRYNA GO TOE TO TOE be a lady n just chill n let us win sometimes…lol
Damn, Great post…
slim was right. MOST of these black Women feel like you owe them something. they wanna Be INDEPENDENT not stand by they Man. he said it real raw but its some truth to it.
No Cash it just your truth.
i said some truth. im a WITNESS. to the BS he talm bout.
I believe the attitude some black women exibit is purly from upbring. If you were brought up in a single family home and seen the struggle your mother when through because of not having a “the man of the house” there to help, it can leave a bitter taste for black men in general.
Maybe the fact that so man weren’t in the home lead to how black women treat man today. They didn’t have an example of “how to treat a man” because the quality of men their mother had in her life.