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Monday, May 10, 2010 | 11:35pm
SOUND OFF: Regina King Says Sistas Should Date Outside Their Race. Thoughts?
What do you feel about interracial dating? Does call for sistas to explore upset you?
@VibeMagazine
One of my absolute favorite actresses in Hollywood is Regina King. I have so much respect for what she stands for not only as a talented actress but an underrated go-getter within the industry. For years she’s been making moves behind the camera including most famously providing the voice for Huey and Riley Freeman on The Boondocks, which airs Sunday nights on Cartoon Network.
However, I must admit I had to think twice after hearing of our recent comments about interracial dating. In a recent blog/ Op-Ed peice published on Vibe.com, the actress tells the sistas they need to broaden their horizon and stop giving the brothers their sole focus because their limiting their options.
“Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love-with Black men.”
She says her frustrations have been cultivated by her close single friend’s reluctance to try new things.
“It’s either they vocally say that they won’t or every time an opportunity comes up for them to date outside of their race, there’s some excuse why it’s not going to work. They never really say it’s because he’s White, or because he’s Spanish or something like that. It’ll be more like, Well, you know he works at such and such, and our schedules don’t match.’ But we’ll know really what it is. It’s ’cause he’s White.”
King offers her own reasoning for why this phenomenon exists, identifying self-esteem as the key contributor.
“A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us. Does he think my hair is right? Does he think I look right? Does he think my ass is big enough? Does he think my titties are big enough?”
So that’s the other side. With the vast majority of the Nation skewing male I’d like to know what the fellas response is to Regina’s comments. How do YOU feel personally about interracial dating? Do you think black women or single black folks in general need to experiment with other races. Are Black folks limiting their chances for finding love or is Regina completely off base with this one? SOUND OFF!
FILED IN Honeys, Movies, Need to Know, TV
When you rub arms with the devil you don’t get the same reaction depending on your gender,some of our sistas refuse to go backwards and they know what they want in a man and that is and i quote “A STRONG BLACK MAN”and there is only ONE!
Date outside your race if you want, just have thick enough skin to deal w/the backlash from friends family and strangers. If you can deal w/that b/c “love conquers all” then go ahead and do you.
It doesn’t matter what others think about you. Date who you want to date and that’s it. Everyone else doesn’t matter. In the end, it is you who is either happy or unhappy. The rest are just spectators for no reason.
Ditto. To each his own. I have my preferences, but that doesn’t mean I’ve shut the door to everything else. That’s MY business, anyway!
First off I gotta say that Ms. Regina King is a fine ass sister, I saw her on 106 & Park a few months ago and DAMN, her physique is bangin son…Juan you need to send her an invitation to join the fatback club.
With regards to the topic I would agree with Ms. King. Look at Halle Berry and the way she’s been treated by the brotha’s. Would I expect her to continue dating black guys knowing how they’ve treated her. Interesting thing though is since her break up with Gabriel she’s been seen with the brotha’s again. So maybe it’s not such a bad idea dating outside one’s culture, you may realize that it’s not for you or you may end up falling in love.
It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, either date someone from your own race or be alone until you do.
The one issue I have regarding interracial dating is when people choose to exclusively date outside their race.
For example, brothers who only date white girls because of their thin lips, blonde hair, they don’t give attitude, etc. It says volumes about a person who couldn’t find beauty in their own race.
As 4 how brothuz treated Halle they were some dumb asses but since she has not dated every black man , u can’t go off that bullshit . That’s another stereo type plus Halle is leaving her White knight just FYI.That’s like what I hear when I talk 2 my Vanilla chiXXX about Y they don’t date white men they say the same shit sometimes not all the time.Not anything like sistuz dog blackmen tho. U can’t pay a White woman 2 talk shit about white men even if she has never dated a white man Becky will never talk shit about him tho.White women know the game every1 is so quick 2 dog brothuz every flava . Does any1 else besides me notice that? Speak on it.
I will say from my experience that black women are often put through more pain from their relationships with black men then white women with their counterparts. From what I see it has made many of them jaded and guarded. Again from my experience.
I am not an XXXpert on the subject of interracial dating by any means ….well yes I am , I have been 4playing n the snow since I was 12 but here is my thing 1st of all.If u are happy and the person u are with is happy that’s all that matters . IT MAY SOUND CORNY but fuck whoever don’t like it REAL TALK,if your family don’t like it, friends, etc FUCK EM. U have 2 live 4 u and u only .Will u have some h8rz U damn skippy u will that’s how AmeriKKKa is we as a race of Blacks are more acceptable about the issue . Every1 in the Black community knows that 1 Teena Marie ass white chick that has been kick’n it with Brothers since she 1st saw Purple Rain every since it’s been nothing but the brothuz.Or u have that 1 white dude that hung around brothers 4 so damn long that La’Shonda started looking good and Chad loves a dark chocolate sista has kids with her now.The only thing I hate is when White Boys and sistuz stare and get mad. If both of u r that mad at your own then Just start dating each other and don’t worry about what we are doing on this side . I love “White Women” I am will get in a room full of sistuz and say the shit REAL TALK but I love sistuz 2. 2 date, mate, and Penetr8.If u get with a person of another Race get with them 4 the right reasons not 4 any silly stereo typical Bull shit because penis size (By the way we did not make that shit up White men did )I really could care less about any1 elses dick size mine works so that’s all I care 4 .Don’t get with some1 bcuz he will pay your bills and u think his family is rich.Don’t get with Becky bcuz u think she is more freakier in bed than Shanice.Get with the person bcuz u love and care 4 him or her and if u have kids out the deal take care of em and love them unconditionally they are already going 2 have it bad from AmeriKKKa . I have 2 Obama babies of my own . Black/White Love don’t h8 congradulate participate and penetr8.
2Nasstee, please clear something up for me. In your responses I often see a great distain for KKKrackers and AmeriKKKa as you put it. How can you convey such strong emotion against KKKrackers and AmeriKKKa and still love off “White Women” as much as you say you do.
I am glad u asked my friend ….When I say KKKracka and AmeriKKKa I mean those RednecKKK NASCAR watching, Wal Mart shopping, skoal dipping, cow tipping, out door bass pro shop coupon clipping, camo wearing, John Deer tractor driving, squirrel hunting, KKKonfedeRAT flag cross burning bitches….4 the most part r White men but not all white men fit that category so that’s 4 whom ever fits what I just described, as 4 me 4playing in the snow my political views have nathan 2 do with how I get down or go down sexxxually.Just bcuz I play in the snow don’t mean I am asleep at the wheel.. Pimp’n .
I feel you. Bottom line is date whoever you want to date, we are all mixed with a different race anyway.
I have 2 on that Co sign on that Jungle .
“Don’t get with Becky bcuz u think she is more freakier in bed than Shanice…I have 2 Obama babies of my own” Hilarious
Good look Juan , it’s real tho …I just love women in general , the most racist KKKracka can’t front, they would pick Beyonce over Lindsay Lohan anyday as far as just looks not money or material BS just looks and body since we as men get that shallow at times.
I personally dont see anything wrong with. Alot of people especially black are closed minded.they wont even try anything new, they are so afraid of change that they’re holding themselves back.this is with alot of things, not only dating but religion, politics,etc….you have to keep an open mind you never know what life has to offer you. now i would agree sometimes interacial dating can be a little weird. there is those times like when you turn the radio on and the 2 of you dont relate. or when your watchin a stand up comedian and some of the jokes dont register. those are cultural differences that can get in the way, thats why i said you have to keep an open mind.
I was just sayin to a friend of mine, who is a black woman, that it’s extremely hard for black women, and may get worse in the future. They are the only race of women that naturally don’t want to stray from their own. From my experiences most black women need to relate to the person that they are with: physically & emotionally. While the black man will hook up with anything with a pretty smile and a poundcake. On average, most black women claim that they are not attracted to most races except ricans or biracials (with black being in there somewhere, lol), but can you blame them? With the thought of slavery and how black women were treated by other races throughout history. I’m sure that there will always be something in the back of their mind that turn them away from other races, especially the white race.
On the other hand you have to consider the black men, that aren’t dead, in prison, or have 5 baby moms, know that they are a hot commodity in the streets (meaning that they have 3 or 4 already on deck), so if a black woman really likes that man black man she pretty much has to put out early or she won’t see him again. Most black men aren’t ready to settle down til maybe 30. & By thirty a womans biological clock done already ticked…it’s a whole lot factors that come into play: ratio of black men to black women, attitudes, the independent woman, drugs, prison…I don’t agree with her, but I don’t disagree…b/c personally I wouldn’t be attracted to a my cleopatra knowing she was pieced up by John Smith, but if I never wanted her in the first place and vice versa why should I care. Just My thoughts…
A lot of you are saying dating outside of your race is cool but how many of you (aside from 2NA$$TEE) actually partakes?
i partake. my mind is open. race is not gonna detour me from beein happy in a relationship. i actually prefer to date outside because we as black men and women have been opressed and brained wash for so long that its too hard to undo the pain. there is alot of pressure tryin to stay inside your on race when your are a black man especially an educated one. weve been brainwashed so badly we dont even know our roles. we read the bible and go to church and still refuse to play the part that the bible wants us to play. our black people are caught up in wordly things, materials, or whateva society says. when yu date lets say a hispanic, chances are he or she would cherish family first. black people; how much money do yu have or what kind of car yu drive, can yu provide for me and my 3 kids?
Preach Dewayne Preach !! We will now be taking a collection and then hear from the Choir .I gotz 2 co sign on that 1 good point.
I see women like u would see ice cream u just don’t want Vailla or Chocolate all the time hell u gots 2 get that Butta Rican strawberry etc Again when u don’t discriminate when it cumz 2 what u r licking 4, xxxcuse me looking 4 in a mate and both have open minds 2 what the other is trying 2 accomplish as a couple then things work better, will u argue? yes like most do will u disagree yes but no more than Ike and Tina did …on the real tho sistuz I understand why u would not want 2 date outside yet we as black men don’t do ryt as a whole not individuals but give some other flavaz a chance 2 know u and again don’t be mad when u see a brother with another flavor just be happy within u. Fuck what he is sporting if Malik is happy with Becky’s 389lbs weighing 3 stomach having ass and she is only 5’3 then more power 2 em .This all coming 2 u from a guy who has had his share of some Double scoops of Vanilla in his day …not now tho I have been on that diet 4 a looooooong time.
I have, I am a white guy married to a very fine black lady.
Some of my older folk had a issue, but not much of a peep from her family. I have gotten heat or the old look or too, in the end I don’t care.
i dnt really care to date outside of my race because then i put importance on skin color and not what the person stands for or is about. or if we like the same things or we agree on certain things as well. i also understand that various people will look sideways at my choice of date/mate, gf/wife. to me, its more “frowned upon” if its a black and white couple. i also know that certain people will have reservations toward my choice too and thats fine with me. they dotn ahve to go home with them or make love to them or make the understand why we gettin funny looks or why we cant get a cab or get served in a restaurant as quickly as the next couple. but when she does UNDERSTAND whats going on and she is into the relationship 110% she wont tolerate the BS. or she will just ‘look over’ certain situations bc of the ignorance involved or connected with it.
Arent we all mixed up anyway? ddnt we all come from someone black anyway??? seems to be too much concentration on individualism.
i am fine with interracial dating. i think everyone has a right to their own choices. forget what people think. NOW with that said, i’ve dated hispanic women, white women, but i have not dated a sista. not that i never wanted to because i do! i just haven’t had the opportunity
In the world of Digital Underground, “EVERYBODY DO WHAT’CHA LIKE!”
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Anotha WACK-Thinking Ass Sista! I Do NOT date outside of my people and do not believe Sista’s should either.